Just Playing Along
by Greenstuff
Summary: Mary is convinced Eleanor is a vampire. Marshall is convinced Mary has finally lost it.


She'd always made fun of those scenes in tv shows and the movies. The ones where someone suddenly twigs, seemingly out of nowhere, that all those somethings that didn't add up can only mean one thing -vampire- and then immediately turns to the internet, as if that is the oracle of supernatural truths. Yet, here she was, at two in the morning, a full list of google results glaring at her, the only light in the deserted office. Feeling incredibly stupid, she clicked the first result.

The wikipedia page contained nothing she hadn't heard before from Anne Rice or Joss Whedon or one of Marshall's endless rambles about the sociological significance of vampire mythology. Still, there was something about seeing the words on the screen, _Subsist by feeding on the life essence (generally in the form of blood) of living creatures…._ that sent shivers racing up and down her spine.

With steady hands Mary picked up her phone and hit speed dial 3.

The phone rang five times before clicking over to voicemail. He never missed her calls. Mary felt a cold twist of fear in her stomach. She hit speed dial 1. This time it only rang twice.

"Mary?" Marshall's voice was thick and scratchy. Obviously he'd been fast asleep. She should feel bad, but the pounding of her heart and the absolute certainty she was right drove her onwards.

"Stan is in danger." There was no point in sugar coating it. He hadn't picked up his phone; she was assuming the worst.

Marshall sighed, this wasn't the first time Mary had called him at some obscene time in the middle of the night, stuck halfway between dreaming and reality. "It was just a dream. Stan is at Eleanor's. Fast asleep.. Like you should be."

Mary's fist clenched in frustration. "Exactly! We have to save him."

"From a night with his girlfriend?"

"Yes!"

Mary's voice was shrill with panic and for the first time Marshall began to feel a prickle of concern himself, although it wasn't Stan he was worried about. "Where are you?"

"The office, but I'm going to save Stan whether you come or not."

Marshall had a sudden vision of a pajama-clad Mary showing up on Eleanor's doorstep, gun in hand, hair all over the place... There was no way that situation could end well. "Wait for me," he said in his most commanding voice. "I'll be there in five."

Mary wanted to argue. They might already be too late, another five minutes seemed like an eternity. But there was a reason she had called Marshall instead of running over to save Stan all by herself. Her partner may be an annoying geek half the time, but if anyone would know how to kill a vampire it was him. "Marshall!" she cried, hoping to catch him before he hung up the phone.

"What, Mare?"

"Better bring garlic and that stake you had that Halloween... Eleanor is a vampire."

The line was silent for several seconds before Marshall replied with a choked sounding, "Hang tight, I'll be there soon," and then the line went dead.

Mary paced the office, wishing she were a better Catholic. A cross and some holy water would really come in handy right now.

x x x

Marshall made the call from the car on his way to the sunshine building. "You're sure?"

"Absolutely." Dr. Finkel's voice was firm. "I'll meet you there. Just play along until I get there."

_Easier said than done,_ Marshall thought as he pulled into the parking lot and killed the engine. He and Mary had been partners for seven years. He'd seen her angry, happy, sad, and even irrational, but the last thing he'd ever thought he would see was Mary crazy. Not 'oh Mary'-eye roll crazy either, but full on 'I think our office manager is a vampire who is going to suck our chief's blood until he dies' crazy. He swiped his key card and waited impatiently for the elevator to arrive.

A minute later the doors opened with a bright 'ding!' and a stressed looking Mary nearly bowled him over in her hurry to get out.

Marshall caught his partner by the shoulders. "Mary?"

"What the hell took you so long, Doofus?"

"Couldn't find my keys," he lied smoothly.

She glared suspiciously up at him. "You always keep them on the hook by the door."

Marshall cursed under his breath. Now she decided to be observant? What about the last seven years he'd spent hopelessly in love with her? But now was not the time to think of that. He needed to stall. "Why are you sleeping in the office again?" As soon as the question left his mouth he realized it was a good one. Mary hadn't spent the night in the office instead of her own bed unless they were on duty in three years, not since Brandi found her own apartment.

"Brandi was evicted." Mary grumbled, momentarily distracted from her fears for Stan's safety by the continuing incompetence of her younger sister.

"Again?" Marshall reminded himself that Brandi's problems were _not funny_ and smirking would only make Mary mad.

"Yeah, she didn't pay rent and the landlord caught her and a 'friend' in the pool..." Mary trailed off suggestively and then shrugged. This wasn't the first time and she was sure it wouldn't be the last either. "But it's not Brandi I'm worried about," she said, bringing the conversation back to the pollen at hand. "Did you bring the stuff?"

"It's in the car," Marshall replied..

Mary grabbed his arm and pulled him In the general direction of the parking lot. "Good. Let's go!"

x x x

Marshall drove as slowly as he thought he could get away with. He didn't think Mary was paying much attention to his driving. She sat in the passenger seat, tense with anticipation, the hand-whittled stake he had once made for a Halloween costume clutched in one hand so tightly her knuckles were white. For all her claims sounded completely insane to him, she believed them.

Eleanor lived in a modest house near the outskirts of Albuquerque. The well manicured garden looked eerie in the windy moonlit night, rose bushes and creatively pruned shrubbery looking like small shadowy figures huddling furtively along the brown brick walls. Marshall parked along the road and scanned the street for Shelley Finkel's car.

Mary leapt out almost before he'd killed the engine. Her face was pale and grim, the same way it always was at the beginning of a shoot out, before adrenaline flushed her cheeks pink and added an extra sparkle to her eyes.

Marshall followed her up the walk, staying half a step behind, close enough he could tackle her if she tried to do anything stupid -like drive the stake through Eleanor's beating, human heart, but not so close Mary would suspect anything. He prayed Shelley would hurry up.

Mary pounded on the front door, "Stan?"

A light switched on in the front room and a few seconds later Eleanor opened the door. She was wearing a fluffy blue housecoat and the remains of bright red lipstick was smeared around her mouth as if she'd swiped it off with the back of her hands instead of removing it properly. She looked from one to the other with a baffled expression. "Mary? Marshall? What's going on?"

Marshall placed a soothing hand on Mary's shoulder, silently pleading with her to keep quiet. "We need to talk to Stan."

Eleanor shook her head. "He's not here."

Mary made a noise halfway between a scoff and a growl. "So you don't mind if we come in then?"

Eleanor looked wary. Marshall could hardly blame her. "Just for a minute," he promised.

Mary didn't wait for her to agree. "I'm just going to use your bathroom." she called, heading down the hallway towards the bedroom.

Before Marshall could say a word, Mary had thrown the bedroom door open, revealing an empty, sleep-rumpled bed.

"I'm sorry," Marshall said softly to Eleanor.

"Is that a stake?" Eleanor asked, her eyes following Mary as she began to open doors at random, obviously searching for something.

"Yeah," Marshall squirmed uncomfortably.

"And she's carrying it around because...?"

"Shethinksyouareavampire," Marshall said in a rush.

Eleanor's head snapped around to meet his gaze more quickly than Marshall thought humanly possible, and then she burst into near-hysterical laughter. "I'm sorry," she gasped, "what gave her that idea?"

Marshall shrugged. "I already called Dr. Finkel, she should be here any minute."

As if summoned by his words, Shelly pulled into Eleanor's driveway and leapt from the vehicle. She smiled politely at Eleanor and gave Marshall's arm a squeeze before disappearing into the house. "Mary!" she called.

Mary turned, "Jesus! What are you doing here?" she snapped.

"Marshall called me. Can we talk?"

"She killed Stan." Mary said, shooting a dark look at Eleanor.

Shelly barely hesitated, she'd left a message for Stan when she was en route asking him to meet them at the hospital. He hadn't called back, but then it was three am, she would probably sleep with her phone on silent too if she worked with Mary Shannon. "Stan is fine. I just talked to him. Why don't you come with me and we'll go talk to him. Marshall can stay here with Eleanor just in case."

Mary eyes her suspiciously for a moment, and then, realizing she was outnumbered, nodded her agreement. "Here," she handed Marshall the stake. "Don't be afraid to use it."

Marshall stood in the doorway, watching Shelly's taillights disappear down the street. "I'm really sorry, Eleanor." Marshall said, preparing to leave.

"It's alright," Eleanor patted him on the arm. "Come on in, I don't know about you, but I need a drink."

"Have any whiskey?"

"Of course." she gestured for Marshall to enter. As he passed she breathed deeply through her nose, sweat, skin and, best of all, fresh, pumping blood. Her gums burned as her incisors slid free, their sharp tips biting into her bottom lip. Oh yes, she could use a drink.


End file.
